Investments

It’s been an embarrassing amount of time since my last post.  Girls home from school, work commitments, vacations and weekend getaways - simultaneous challenges and gifts - have required me to put blog writing on the back burner.  There is only so much time in a day and I know many of us struggle with this. How can we fit it all in? How do we balance all that we want, and need, for our families, and ourselves, AND all we want to enjoy out of life?  I don’t have any easy, in-the-box answer to these big questions, and I suspect I’ll never stop reflecting upon them. However, in an ongoing, stubborn attempt to find a way to “do it all”, I’ve stumbled across a personal revelation of sorts.  I believe it all comes down to investments.  

Most people’s first thought upon hearing that word is a financial investment.  We contemplate bonds and stocks and mutual funds (and a whole bunch of other words that I don’t even know exist - thanks for fielding those, honey) all for the sake of growing our finances and securing our future.  It’s good to research these things (so I’m told?) and make informed decisions about which ventures will be best for us and provide the greatest return. But why in the world are we only concentrating on our monetary investments? Why aren’t we pondering the other aspects of our lives?  With the sobering truth that we are only here for a finite amount of time, shouldn’t we be considering how we are devoting our energy and time?  Why aren’t we investing in our health and relationships as diligently as we are in our 401Ks? (I really hope that’s the right term) 

Let’s start with time.  No matter what hour you wake,  or go to sleep, how gratifying would it feel to know you used those hours in between in the best possible way for YOU and the people you love?  We contemplate and prioritize our income and ponder where the money will be best spent. What if we did that with our time?   Without paying attention, I could easily suck up hours of time on Instagram or Facebook or Pinterest. But what is the payoff?  What is the return on that investment? Since there is no paperwork mailed to me, indicating these facts as numerical definites,  this is a big question to consider. For the most part, in terms of social media, the reward is slight. I do think it’s worth my time to see friends from long ago or far away and relish in their photos and life updates.  I also do need to use social media for work related purposes, and I enjoy that aspect of it. But...other than that, the rest is not really helping me at all; in fact, it can sometimes get overwhelming and leave me with more negative emotions than positive.  I have to consciously make the decision that this is NOT worth the precious minutes or hours I can so easily grant it. I think of how I can use that time making human connections or exploring creative avenues. All the things I could do in that time to feed my soul: reading a good book, writing in my journal, praying/meditating or researching topics about which I am curious.  Quick sidenote:  I want to stress that this is in no way, shape, or form a judgement on how ANYONE else uses their time.  (If I haven’t said it before, I’m saying it now- one of the guiding principles of this blog is that it will always be a zero tolerance space for judgement of others.  Live and let live.)  Maybe you find social media inspiring or relaxing or mentally stimulating.  Which in that case, is a good investment for you. These are the personal decisions each of us has to make.  And just as with finances, one investment does not fit all. Decide what brings you peace and plenty and invest primarily in that.

I’m trying to apply this philosophy to health, too.  We are insanely lucky to live in a country where wholesome, fresh food is available to us at every turn.  Each day, I’m blessed with the choice of what to eat and what I put into my body. Would I spend the contents of my wallet on each and every retail item that entices me?  I mean, I would like to...but I need to check myself and decide which pieces are truly worth the investment. So I attempt the same investment mentality with my diet and exercise choices.   A great example for food is a wedding or an event with a lavish buffet. There is SO much to choose from. As a self-proclaimed foodie, it’s tempting to test one of each of whatever is on that roving waiter’s silver tray.  And I rarely skip a chafing dish on the buffet line. But recently, with the guidance of some very knowledgeable nutritionists and health professionals, I have learned a lot about the science of food. Reflecting upon their teachings, and my realizations,  I try only to invest in the foods, and drinks, that I think are worth it. As for exercise, I used to think that if it wasn’t an intense, extreme calorie burning workout, then it wasn’t good enough. Now, my new mentality is that I just need to move my body every day.  Pushing myself through a workout that I don’t enjoy doesn’t really get me anywhere in the long run. I have friends (and a daughter) who are passionate about indoor cycling. I have a passion for it too, but mine is more like a hate ;) I would prefer an Orangetheory class or a tennis match or a jog any day.  So, when investing in food or exercise, I look to invest in what brings the greatest return.

Relationships are another biggie.  So many people come into (and out of) our lives from the time we are very young.  As we grow, and hopefully evolve, we start to realize that there are some relationships that bring out the good in us- we find ourselves feeling enlightened, inspired and just “better” (for lack of a better term) for being around these individuals.  These are the ones in whom we should be investing our time and attention, and these relationships are worth fostering. I find myself truly wanting to connect and build upon these relationships by reaching out to those with whom I haven’t spoken, dropping off flowers or a small gift to remind them that they are loved and making time for a cup of coffee or glass of wine to catch up.  But, we also need to pay closer attention to those relationships that (consciously, or unconsciously) leave us feeling a tad uneasy, evoke more negative energy than positive and simply do not serve us well. Again, no judgement - it simply just means that your goals and values do not align with theirs. As motivational speaker Jim Rohn reminds us, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”   

I also want to stress that although this idea of investments is a guiding principle to which I am working towards, I am a true “work in progress”.  Sometimes, I make poor investments. We all do. That’s what makes us human. (P.S. Another of my founding blog principles is authenticity.  I will always be honest about whatever I put here)  So here goes: sometimes I invest in one too many chardonnays.  Sometimes I invest in relationships that don’t serve me. Sometimes I invest in cheese fries and pizza.  However, instead of beating myself up over wasted time or calories, I’m learning to reflect and look towards ventures that reap more profitable dividends (Thanks to my financial genius sis-in-law for that last one)

Final thought - the greatest thing about investments is the freedom of choice.  Just as there is no “one size fits all” financial portfolio, there is none for a social/emotional/lifestyle portfolio either.  Which is as a gift. YOU are in charge of how you spend your time, your love, your friendships, your health. How we spend our hours and days is how we, ultimately, spend our lives.   So, reflect upon and decide what is most important to you...what brings you the most peace and plenty...and invest wisely, my friends. Xo